Most likely you own a car. If you do, no doubt you change the oil every three to four months or so. Of course, your car needs maintenance. It should be just as obvious that marriages need maintenance. However, in view of the epidemic of divorce in our society, it's pretty clear that maintenance of marriages is often neglected. This is a shame, because there are a lot of marriage counseling books on the shelf to help you improve your marriage. For a little time and not much money, you can make an investment that will pay huge dividends in your relationship. This is an easy, practical step you can take to prevent your marriage from ending up on the rocks.
As far as marriage counseling books are concerned, it's not necessary to go with the latest fad. There are a number of classics that are just as valuable today as when they were first written. After all, the issues that today's marriages face are essentially the same as those faced by Adam and Eve: love, respect, finance, raising children, and so on.
One of my favorite books about marriage counseling is called "His Needs, Her Needs," by Willard F. Harley, Jr. Dr. Harley (a psychologist) bases his approach on a consideration of the different needs of husband and wife. Since the needs of the man and the woman are so different, it's often the case that one spouse isn't even aware that he/she is not meeting the other's needs. For men, Dr. Harley's number one need is sex (no surprise there). For women, number one on the list is affection, which is often hard for men to deliver. Ultimately, Dr. Harley's message is an encouragement for husband and wife to make loving concessions to accommodate for each other's differing needs.
An alternative marriage counseling book is "Getting the Love You Want," which takes a very different approach. The author is Dr. Harville Hendrix, a practicing therapist. Dr. Hendrix personally experienced a divorce, and as a result has a great empathy and understanding for other couples in trouble. According to Dr. Hendrix' view, our attraction to our spouses is based on subconscious reasons that we aren't even aware of. He states two main reasons as follows. First of all, we find people attractive when they have both the positive and negative traits of our parents (or childhood caretakers). Second, we find people attractive who make up for the things we missed during childhood. The upshot is that we often get married with the expectation that our husband or wife will be the parent-figure that we always wanted, and who will give us what we missed out on during our first childhood.
This idea that our spouse is a kind of surrogate parent seems a little fishy to me. However, Dr. Hendrix does make an interesting case, using a number of case histories from his own experience. One of these cases involves John, a self-described "dull businessman" who falls hard for Cheryl, who if anything is too emotional. This very same characteristic that at first attracts him, very soon becomes too much for him to handle.
I encourage you to explore some of the options for marriage counseling books. You can probably get recommendations from your friends and acquaintances - or just browse through a bookstore, which doesn't even cost anything. Put some time and effort into maintaining your marriage, and you will reap huge rewards.
As far as marriage counseling books are concerned, it's not necessary to go with the latest fad. There are a number of classics that are just as valuable today as when they were first written. After all, the issues that today's marriages face are essentially the same as those faced by Adam and Eve: love, respect, finance, raising children, and so on.
One of my favorite books about marriage counseling is called "His Needs, Her Needs," by Willard F. Harley, Jr. Dr. Harley (a psychologist) bases his approach on a consideration of the different needs of husband and wife. Since the needs of the man and the woman are so different, it's often the case that one spouse isn't even aware that he/she is not meeting the other's needs. For men, Dr. Harley's number one need is sex (no surprise there). For women, number one on the list is affection, which is often hard for men to deliver. Ultimately, Dr. Harley's message is an encouragement for husband and wife to make loving concessions to accommodate for each other's differing needs.
An alternative marriage counseling book is "Getting the Love You Want," which takes a very different approach. The author is Dr. Harville Hendrix, a practicing therapist. Dr. Hendrix personally experienced a divorce, and as a result has a great empathy and understanding for other couples in trouble. According to Dr. Hendrix' view, our attraction to our spouses is based on subconscious reasons that we aren't even aware of. He states two main reasons as follows. First of all, we find people attractive when they have both the positive and negative traits of our parents (or childhood caretakers). Second, we find people attractive who make up for the things we missed during childhood. The upshot is that we often get married with the expectation that our husband or wife will be the parent-figure that we always wanted, and who will give us what we missed out on during our first childhood.
This idea that our spouse is a kind of surrogate parent seems a little fishy to me. However, Dr. Hendrix does make an interesting case, using a number of case histories from his own experience. One of these cases involves John, a self-described "dull businessman" who falls hard for Cheryl, who if anything is too emotional. This very same characteristic that at first attracts him, very soon becomes too much for him to handle.
I encourage you to explore some of the options for marriage counseling books. You can probably get recommendations from your friends and acquaintances - or just browse through a bookstore, which doesn't even cost anything. Put some time and effort into maintaining your marriage, and you will reap huge rewards.
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Learn more about how to save your marriage and prevent a divorce today! Go here right now: Marriage Counseling Books or have a look at: Marriage Problem and see what you can do now!
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