Relationship Help From Amazon.com

Too Desperate To Date

By Astrid Engels

You've plastered your best smile on your face and you think you've mastered the art of flirting. So why is it that you have one heck of a hard time attracting a date? And once you do have a date, there's no second date! In a word, desperation.

Nothing turns off potential daters faster than appearing so desperate for a date that you'll do almost anything to get one. In extreme cases, dating desperation can seem almost creepy. At best it's just kind of sad.

Stop trying so hard! In most things social, trying too hard gives the opposite result of what you want. Trying too hard to attract or keep a date will always backfire. Remember that love will come in its own good time; you can't force it. So stop putting so much pressure on that guy or gal you met on an internet dating service; it it's meant to be things will progress at their own pace.

Lying to impress. If you're guilty of lying about yourself to impress someone, stop it! Right now! There's nothing to be gained by lying about who you are or what you do. Sooner or later even the little white lies are going to catch up with you. Do it often enough and you'll gain a reputation you really don't want.

Nobody likes a yes man, or woman for that matter. You may think that by agreeing with everything a potential date says that you'll come across as more likeable. Unfortunately nothing is further from the truth. Disagreeing, politely of course, with someone's opinion gives you the chance to voice your own, and gives potential daters the chance to discover who you are and how you feel about certain topics.

You're a doormat. You've been stood up so many times you've lost count, and rather than tell your date how you feel, you simply accept his/her explanation. That's the sign of a doormat. If you don't respect yourself, why should anyone else? Self respect is the key to self confidence; and a must if you don't want to appear desperate.

Sleeping with someone before you feel ready to do so is the ultimate act of dating desperation. And you're sacrificing an important part of yourself by doing so. There's nothing wrong with sowing your oats, so to speak, just make sure you really want to grow oats and you're not just doing it because the farmer wants you to!

It comes down to this; if you'll date anything with a pulse, you'll come across as a desperate dater. Do yourself a favor and take some time off. Get comfortable with yourself. Then, and only then, should you pursue dating.

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