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Do I Really Want To Save My Marriage?

By Matthew Clarke

If your marriage has been in trouble for a while, you may have been told the following, "I love you but I'm not in love with you." If you've heard that statement, then you are probably struggling with the thought that your marriage will end, and you can see the love you had for each other slipping away. You may feel as though nothing you do can save your marriage and this is putting you through emotional turmoil.

Many people say they want to save their marriage, but many don't do anything to try and save it. Marriages can be saved and you can really do so, even if things look and feel completely ruined at the moment. Just wanting to save it is not enough to get the job done. You will need to change your attitude, and you'll need to take action.

If you decide that counseling is not for you then you must be prepared to look at other things to help save your marriage. Providing you're both committed to making the relationship work, then you both need to be willing to do whatever it takes. What you're trying to do is avoid filing for divorce. You have to not put pressure on your spouse to save your marriage. This will only push them further away from you.

You may try to tell your spouse not to be so pessimistic about your marriage and commit to working things out, however, you've probably noticed that the more you try the more you fail to convince them. You need to stop lecturing, pleading and pressuring. Take the pressure off both you and your spouse by stepping back a bit.

Keep the communication up with each other because once you stop the communication, the problems worsen and nothing gets resolved. Be willing to compromise with each other. There are times when you both will need a little give and take to resolve some of the deeper issues. Be prepared to communicate what you both need from the marriage so that you can start again on the right path.

Marriage is a commitment to each other to make the marriage work. Just because there's a "glitch" in the road, doesn't mean that you have to walk away from it. Try to work things out rationally and reasonably and you'll both be so much better for it.

If you've tried counseling and it doesn't help, then at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried. At least try to save the friendship especially if there are children involved.

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