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Emotional Infidelity - How To Detect It, What To Do Next

By Elizabeth Fitz

Emotional infidelity is often the first step to a partner cheating. Some people consider it cheating in it's own right - it has been used in divorce proceedings in the US. A relationship is more than just physical fidelity. It is about the bond two people have, that they forge together over time.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

When your partner or spouse begins to form those very same bonds with another person, then it is emotional infidelity. As your partner forms the bonds, they withdraw from their relationship with you.

Whereas before, you were your significant other's best friend, you knew their secrets, their little quirks - now you feel like you are just an acquaintance in your relationship. This cold-shoulder treatment is horrible, very hard to deal with, and hard to watch happening. You often feel like it is you who is doing something wrong, that you are the one with the problem.

At the same time, emotional infidelity involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about emotional infidelity is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

If you do suspect emotional infidelity, you need to keep some things in mind. Many people have close friends, best buddies if they are a man, and girlfriends if they are a woman. Some people have friends of the opposite sex, and they may confide in them frequently.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem on it's own, but it can be one of the early signs of a relationship really turning sour. Emotional infidelity frequently does lead to physical infidelity. If you recognise emotional infidelity then you may be able to nip it in the bud at this early stage - it is always easier, the earlier you catch it.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distant or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

Catch emotional infidelity as soon as possible in order to fix the relationship. It can be difficult to do, but if your suspicions are aroused and you suspect emotional infidelity then get some help and advice on how to fix your relationship as soon as you can.

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