Tips To Save Your Marriage By Creating Intimacy

By Andyl Bergerl

When your marriage hits rocky waters you must firmly believe that you can save marriage in order to save the marriage. If you don't believe that as fact, then there is nothing you do that will make a blind bit of difference. So right now, believe that it is possible for you to save the marriage.

A lack of intimacy is the most common problem for marriages on the rocks. If you want your marriage to last for a long time there should be a level of intimacy that should go beyond the physical and emotional kind. Perhaps you need to evaluate if your marriage is in trouble because you lack intimacy between you and your spouse.

Do you have open communication and are you transparent with your spouse? Do you talk about your issues openly or do you keep it to yourself and wish it would go away? If you keep things bottled up and don't tell your spouse, then the marriage does lack intimacy and it is about time to bring some in and start the road to recovery.

Be sure to make an effort to share your problems and uncertainties with your partner. Most people are troubled and anxious with certain situations. They would rather keep it to themselves and don't involve their spouse when in fact this could be detrimental to the marriage in the future.

Bear in mind that your partner is sensitive to all your troubles and woes. If you dont keep them involved then in no time at all they will start to feel alienated and that can be harmful to your marriage.

You can improve the level of intimacy in your marriage by spending quality time with each other. Considering that this is the twenty first century and there are a lot of factors that can take much of your time, not making time for your spouse can hurt your marriage. It is tough to learn that one of these days you discover that your marriage ended up in divorce because you were prioritizing your career more or you think that were too focused on raising the kids.

When you are set on keeping your marriage alive then make yourself available for your spouse and marriage. Be spontaneous and take the afternoon off to go on an enjoyable date with your partner. They will be happy to know that you went to the trouble of changing your schedule just to spend some time with them. Doing this will greatly improve your relationship with each other.

Creating and fostering intimacy in your marriage so that you can save marriage will take time and is an ongoing process. Don't ever make the mistake of allowing your marriage to be left set on auto-pilot. A healthy and intimate marriage is one that is attended to regularly, only then will it thrive.

About the Author:

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Just Got Put in the Friend Zone - What Do You Do?

By Dana Goldberg

You love her with all your heart, are always there for her, bear all her moods and are always her partner in crime. But, somehow, you're stuck in the friend zone. She looks at you but not that ways and she smiles at you but not the way you'd prefer. Hours on the phone, hours spent together and hours spent thinking about each other still keep you stuck with the best buddy badge. Time you made your move and here's how how to escape the friend zone by mastering the 5-A technique to her heart.

Affection: Handle this bit a tad differently. Of course girls need affection but if you're going to be like the brotherly sort being very sweet and gentle all the time, it is the friend zone where you will remain permanently. You need to be romantically affectionate. Body language is one of the best ways to change the tone of the affection you wish to express. Hold her hand a bit differently and begin by flirting lightly with her. Don't over do it because you may end up offending her and losing her.

Availability: You love the lady in your life and want to help her out but being unavailable or "just too busy" once in a while will jack up your value. You can then get back to her and explain in subtle ways that you make special effort to take out time for her. This can lead you to explaining that she's special and special not just as a friend. Of course take precaution that you don't go missing at a very crucial time when she really needs you. That will spoil the whole thing.

Attraction: Get sexy. That's as easy as said actually. But even the bees do it. Give gifts that hint at romance. Dress well with perfume and look the part. If you're going out with her, let her feel she's going out with a man and not just with a friendly neighbor.

Attention: You know virtually everything about your lady love but have you paid attention to her thoughts and ideas about romance and sex. Have you led her to one of those topics in your conversations. Direct her attention on the right path. As for yourself, pay attention to how she dresses and looks and don't hesitate to comment on that.

Add another woman: This is tough but one of the most successful tips on how to get out of the friend zone. Whether it's a cousin or colleague, try and get another woman in the picture. You don't have to necessarily be seen going out with another woman but try talking a little extra about another girl. Drop the name of the 'bait' often and mention stuff about the 'bait'. This is sure to get the jealous lights blinking and you can push your case by eventually "dumping" this other woman!

All said and done, getting out of the friend zone on to the path leading to commitment is no big deal. But if the princess you happen to be wooing has her heart set somewhere else or just refuses to see your point of view then, don't waste time. Get on with your life man!

About the Author:

If you are in this kind of situation, and you are looking for some help, pay us a visit and learn how you can Escape The Friend Zone. Visit How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Looks For The Signs When Reading A Guy

By Alan Bentley

Why do guys act in such a frustrating way -- you think they will act a certain way, yet they do the complete opposite and they say they're going to do one thing, yet they do another. You never seem to know if you are reading a guy correctly. There are some easy to comprehend signs that you should look for when you are with your partner, so don't worry that you may have to make a trip to the library to study body language in depth.

When a man flexes his muscles in your presence, it is a sign that he is exhibiting something that you might have expected to see in the wild animal kingdom, a sort of primeval move. A move like this is a sign that he is trying to impress you.

When reading a guy, check to see if his head tilts to one side when you are talking to him. Experts agree that this is a sign that he is intensely interested in you, and not just what is coming out of your mouth. The fact that he is holding his head this way means that he is not just faking interest and this is a subtle body language sign to help you.

If you really believe in reading a guy, look at the way that he holds himself when you are together. If he stands with legs apart and facing you this body language means that your guy is being territorial. This doesn't mean that he will attack any other member of the male sex for approaching, as might a lion, but it does generally mean that he is quite serious about you!

Making eye contact is a good way to behave, as we are taught from an early age. In terms of reading a guy's behavior, this can be a clear sign. If he does not look at you either when you are talking or when he is talking to you, or he avoids your stare, then you know this is a bad omen. Behavior like this on a regular basis means that you should try and get to the bottom of the problem and see if you can find out what is amiss.

A man can show how serious he is about your relationship by the way he holds your hand. His true feelings will be on display if he holds your hand firmly and intertwines his fingers with yours when you are together.

Does your guy always look for an opportunity to brush against you? When reading a guy this will be a great clue, as touching this way is a great sign of affection. You can draw an analogy to your house cat, who will also always want to rub against you, most often at meal time!

Body language cannot be faked as it is a subtle and spontaneous display, so this will teach you about reading a guy in a short amount of time. Look for the signs and learn a lot about his actions.

About the Author:

Author Alan Bentley provides a lot of information to help you when reading a guy. A great resource can be found at at www.cracktheguycode.com.

True Love Advice - Talking Styles

By Johnnie S Laney

Obviously, men and women communicate with different basic styles. Women will often talk to connect. Men will usually talk to make points and problem solve.

This often becomes a source of frustration in relationships. The talking styles we have can cause conflict and separation rather than bringing us together. Becoming more aware of not only your talking style but your mates can make a big difference in how much intimacy you experience in your relationship.

Speaking in generalities, a basic male communication style is to take charge and make points in a conversation. Men are territorial by instinct, and this shows up in conversation. They may interrupt more, try to make points, and then argue or try to convince people that their points are correct.

And we all have heard that men need to be problem solvers in communication. Historically, men are the hunters and killers. Go find the deer, then shoot the deer, then have meat. Same in conversation. Find the problem and then shoot the problem with a solution. Your boss sucks is the problem. Their solution is you need to quit your job. They have found and solved your problem, mission accomplished, pride felt!

A normal talking style for women is often to converse to connect and reflect. They don't need to have things figured out. They often aren't trying to get to a resolution. They don't need to dominate their partner with points or a solution. They actually share their thinking process out loud as a way to connect.

So a female will certainly admit that the boss sucks, then say that the boss is having a hard time in their marriage and that's probably why they aren't so nice. Women can be much more circular in their conversation. Going from one point to a seemingly related or unrelated one.

This of course drives men up the wall. You've identified the deer, the boss who sucks. Then sharing that the deer is having problems with Bambi's dad is not relevant to the guy. Are you going to shoot the darn deer by quitting your job or are you going to offer it therapy?

The way the sexes communicate differently is vast. But if you get that men like to make clear points and kill off problems, and that women often like to communicate to share and connect and reflect, you are off to a great start. Then you can try this: take some time each week to communicate in your mate's style, not yours, and see what happens.

About the Author:

You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Marriage Insights You Couldnt Learn In School at Marriage Guidance That Works. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Marriage Advice Help Secrets.

Marrying An Older Man

By Astrid Engels

It's an unfortunate fact of life that love is not always seen as the primary motive behind the marriage of an older man and a younger woman. Even as gay marriage has become more acceptable than in the past, the marriage of a younger woman to an older man is still viewed by some as a dash for the cash.

There's no doubt that marriage, any marriage, is hard work. And all marriages will face issues that can make or break the relationship. Marriage to a man who is old enough to be your father will present special challenges that you may not have considered.

What others think. Get used to it now because you're in for a world of hurt if you don't; other people will disapprove of your marriage. And they'll think nothing of letting you know how they feel. If you have a sense of humor have some t-shirts made up with 'gold digger' for you and 'cradle robber' for him. Get another one that says 'I'm not his daughter, I'm his wife!'.

Children. Chances are that the love of your life already has children. Are you prepared that you may have stepchildren that are older than you are? If you want children of your own, does your partner want to start another family? In most relationships the desire to have children or not is a deal breaker.

Health. You're 35, he's 57. How long you'll have together depends not just on genes but also lifestyle. Does your partner eat healthy and does he exercise regularly? A 57 beer swilling cigarette smoking couch potato is going to kick the bucket a lot sooner than a man who looks after himself.

Downtime. When you're not working, what do you like to do together as a couple? Will your partner be able to keep up with you as you get older? And consider too your social life. Couples with more than 20 years between them are of different generations and you may not want to hang out with people who resemble your parents, nor he with people he considers children.

Work and retirement. How is your partner going to feel when he retires at age 60 and you still have 20 years of working life ahead of you? If you intend to stay home with any children you may have, how will you feel about having him home every day?

Any good relationship that goes the distance is made up of a number of factors; love and constant communication are just two. Before you tie the knot, talk to your partner, in detail, about your hopes and dreams for the two of you. Don't be afraid to get specific. Better you iron out your differences now than in divorce court.

About the Author:

This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds more helpful dating posts.

Relationship Advice - The Pain Of Love Relationships

By Johnnie S Laney

We all know about the pain that goes with not having a lover. We feel alone, we feel like something isn't right, we feel a loss. Yes, we're all right by ourselves, but we want a partner. It hurts not to have one in our lives in various ways.

But then we all think when we find a mate that that pain should go away, and it does. We feel whole, happy, complete, for a time. The first few months are usually the honeymoon phase, where we feel the most merged with our partner. Everything is great. The pain of not being in a relationship is completely gone.

But the honeymoon phase can't last. After a few months we move into the second phase of relationship, the me/us phase. This period is about being in a relationship but also being separate, following our own goals and interests. We want to be with our mate still, but not ALL the time. And here some pain begins to return.

So in the second phase of relationship we love our partner, but maybe they seem too needy. Or they seem too distant. Or they seem too uncommunicative. Or they seem to not want to give us any space, or they seem to need too much space.

Then we start to worry, or feel pressured, or wonder if we made a mistake, or start to feel desperate for the honeymoon phase again. We have now entered into the pain of being in a relationship! Here's a relationship insight for you: there is pain in not being in a relationship, and there is pain in being in a relationship!

Because the honeymoon phase is so fulfilling, we all tend to think our whole relationship should feel that way. But it can't and it won't. There is more to life than finding a mate. There are other journey's we must take. Your intimate relationship was never meant to be the source of all your happiness.

Here then is a useful point to recognize. There will be pain in any relationship. It might be slight, like feeling a bit lonely around your mate, or it might be very painful, like getting rejected or rejecting your partner.

So you are doing well if you understand that intimate relationships come with pain. You don't need to kill off the relationship because you are hurting or your partner is dissatisfied. Dissatisfaction is just another pain we can feel inside a relationship. You can stay in your relationship through the pain. Another relationship won't be the answer, because it will have pain too.

And another thing to understand is that you can let the pains that arise in your relationship lead you to greater understanding. You can stay in the relationship and usually work through the painful experiences. And you can both continue to mature and grow inside the pains and joys of having a partnership.

About the Author:

You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School Help With Relationships . Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here Love Relationship Help Quotes.

Too Desperate To Date

By Astrid Engels

You've plastered your best smile on your face and you think you've mastered the art of flirting. So why is it that you have one heck of a hard time attracting a date? And once you do have a date, there's no second date! In a word, desperation.

Nothing turns off potential daters faster than appearing so desperate for a date that you'll do almost anything to get one. In extreme cases, dating desperation can seem almost creepy. At best it's just kind of sad.

Stop trying so hard! In most things social, trying too hard gives the opposite result of what you want. Trying too hard to attract or keep a date will always backfire. Remember that love will come in its own good time; you can't force it. So stop putting so much pressure on that guy or gal you met on an internet dating service; it it's meant to be things will progress at their own pace.

Lying to impress. If you're guilty of lying about yourself to impress someone, stop it! Right now! There's nothing to be gained by lying about who you are or what you do. Sooner or later even the little white lies are going to catch up with you. Do it often enough and you'll gain a reputation you really don't want.

Nobody likes a yes man, or woman for that matter. You may think that by agreeing with everything a potential date says that you'll come across as more likeable. Unfortunately nothing is further from the truth. Disagreeing, politely of course, with someone's opinion gives you the chance to voice your own, and gives potential daters the chance to discover who you are and how you feel about certain topics.

You're a doormat. You've been stood up so many times you've lost count, and rather than tell your date how you feel, you simply accept his/her explanation. That's the sign of a doormat. If you don't respect yourself, why should anyone else? Self respect is the key to self confidence; and a must if you don't want to appear desperate.

Sleeping with someone before you feel ready to do so is the ultimate act of dating desperation. And you're sacrificing an important part of yourself by doing so. There's nothing wrong with sowing your oats, so to speak, just make sure you really want to grow oats and you're not just doing it because the farmer wants you to!

It comes down to this; if you'll date anything with a pulse, you'll come across as a desperate dater. Do yourself a favor and take some time off. Get comfortable with yourself. Then, and only then, should you pursue dating.

About the Author:

This article was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com free internet dating company where you can find thousands more professional dating articles.

Pre Marriage Counseling - Do I Need It?

Since you are reading this article on pre marriage counseling, it is most likely because you are in a committed relationship. Now you and your partner are contemplating moving to the next level of committment. You're very much in love with this person, and the feeling is mutual. What more do you need? Why would you want to bare your souls before some stranger in pre marriage counseling sessions?

Well, perhaps injecting a bit of 3rd-party objectivity into the situation would be helpful. Having learned from many years of interpersonal behavioral research, professional counselors are quite knowledgeable about what makes people do what they do, and how they respond to stressful situations and crises. Their arsenal includes methods by which couples can find greater satisfaction and improved communication in their marriages. Before you tie the knot, you really should consider attending pre marriage counseling. This will not only help you and your partner get to know each other better, but also will show you about the challenges and rewards that lie ahead for you as a married couple.

Numerous studies have indicated that pre marriage counseling reduces the likelihood of divorce. Couples who have attended pre marital counseling sessions are better able to deal with difficult situations together. Pre marriage counseling creates an awareness of issues that might occur in a marriage. Pre marriage counseling also helps people to determine if they are actually ready for marriage. Counseling may be a single, intensive session, or it might be in the form of a course that lasts a few weeks.

Once you've made the decision to enroll in pre marriage counseling, you now must make a choice. You have numerous choices here, both secular and religious. Pre marriage counseling is offered by private practice counselors, colleges, non-profit organizations, churches and various other religious groups. Online marriage counseling is also available, which you might find to be more convenient. While the secular counselors work from a psychological perspective, the religious counselors also provide spiritual guidance as it relates to your relationship.

Popular topics of discussion in pre marital counseling courses include values and beliefs, development of conflict resolution skills, sex and intimacy, communication skills, marriage expectations, family goals, role relationships, child rearing, and family finances. Also, some pre marriage counseling courses include the sharing of group experiences, outside reading and homework assignments These activities are all designed to help couples build a solid foundation for their life together.

Before selecting a counselor, check his or her licensing or certification, education, experience, and professional associations. Also, it doesn't hurt to ask for references Remember, pre marriage counseling is an investment in your future happiness.

Top 20 Questions For Couples: Get To Know Your Partner

Are you currently in a relationship with someone who is special to you? Asking the right questions for couples can help inprove your relationship. Are you at that juncture in your relationship where you're beginning to suspect it may possibly get serious? Possibly thoughts of marriage have even entered your mind. If your answer to these questions was 'yes', it would be adviseable for you to ask each other probing get to know questions that could help you to understand each other better.

Following are my top 20 questions for couples to help you get started. Some are serious, and some are just fun questions for couples:

1. What is the one thing you would change about yourself if you had the power to do so?

2. If you were able to change just one thing about me, what would it be?

3. What, more than anything else, makes you feel loved?

4. What does success mean to you?

5. If you were the king (or queen) of the world, what is the first thing you would change?

6. If you had the power to travel back in time, which event in history would you like to witness?

7. If you could travel back in time, what famous historical event would you like to change?

8. What do people do that annoys you more than anything else?

9. Of all the places on Earth, where would be your first choice to live?

10. What is the most important thing you want to achieve before you die?

11. Have you learned any lessons from past relationships? What were they?

12. What are the most important things you're looking for in a person?

13. What do you consider your best character traits?

14. What's the most foolhardy thing you've ever done?

15. What's your most memorable moment?

16. If you won the lottery what would you spend it on?

17. If you were going to a deserted island, what three items would you take along?

18. What time in history would you have liked to be born in and why?

19. What are you most passionate about?

20. What's one place you haven't been to yet that you really want to visit?


If my top 20 questions for couples inspire you to in-depth conversations with your partner, then this article has been successful. I'm sure you can think of some more "get to know" questions, and even some fun questions for couples. I suggest open-ended questions rather than "yes' or 'no' questions, because they stimulate more in-depth discussion. Putting forth some effort to better understand each other now will have long term rewards for both of you.

Questions For Couples Before They Marry- 5 Tips To Help You Stay Together

Why is asking the right questions for couples so important? Did you know that nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce? You may not think you'll be one of those, but still, it helps to know a few little secrets before you get married.

These 5 tips can help you and your lover stay together long after tying the knot:

TIP#1 -- Waiting Is Often Better

It's a well-documented fact that couples who have dated for more than a year before getting married have a much lower rate of divorce than those who married after a short dating period. Why?


A year of dating allows time for a variety of emotions to surface and character traits to be discovered.You might adore someone in the spring, but despise them by winter.

Asking someone for their hand in marriage on the third date isn't romantic. It's gambling (some would say crazy).


TIP#2 -- Continue Dating

Over time, people often drift apart. Relationships and marriages can become stale when couples neglect to do new and special things together.


That's why going out on unique dates is so important. Something about dating seems to create a sense of magic in a
relationship, even those relationships that are stuck in a rut.

When on a date, you typically put a bit more effort into your appearance. You have more uninterrupted time to
communicate on a deeper level, and are naturally drawn closer together.

Need some ideas? How about a day at the zoo, aquarium, carnival, museum, beach or park, or even shopping together?



TIP#3 -- Make An Effort To Understand Your Partner

Often couples with the most problems are the ones that say, "I just don't understand him/her."

How knowledgeable are you about your mate's job or the degree they are working on? Do you know anything about their
family heritage? Are you able to have a meaningful conversation about their hobbies or interests? If you are a man, do you
understand what women experience during PMS or menopause?


You don't need to have identical interests, but make an effort to learn about your partner's interests in life and you'll grow closer as a result.

TIP#4 -- Constantly Express Your Love

Often, as a relationship matures, partners stop praising each other because they assume their partner already knows what they're thinking.


In reality, you should never let a day go by without praising your partner. Compliment her on her cooking. Tell him that he's the greatest person in the world or that he's a wonderful role model. If you want to be loved and romanced by your sweetheart, love and romance her first. When your partner is feeling loved, it is much easier for her to love in return.


Are you an enthusiastic supporter of what your partner does and says? Do you cheer them on and praise them constantly? Or do they all too often hear criticism or silence?

TIP#5 -- Discuss The *BIG* Questions For Couples

Does your partner want children? Do you both want careers? Do either of you have a history of spending their way into debt? Do they attend church?


In my opinion, the biggest reason nearly half of all marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to ask each other the right questions for couples BEFORE they get married.

I suppose people think they'll be able to change their spouses after marriage and everything will be better. Guess again! If you don't sit down and discuss those get to know questions on religion, finances, housing, sex, your future, and other topics in great detail, you could end up with an endless stream of arguments for the rest of your life.

If you each have different views, goals and desires in life, there’s no guarantee that chemistry or 'I love you’s' will keep you together.

Make it your top priority to understand each other inside-out BEFORE you take the plunge into marriage. Ask the serious as well as the fun questions for couples.

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