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Cheating, Relationships, What To Do About It?

By Sally Dunwell

Relationships and cheating go together all the time it seems. Perhaps your friend is miserable because he has had someone cheat on him. Maybe you are the one that has been cheated on. Or, was it you that was doing the cheating?

Cheating is a painful business. It definitely hurts the person who has been cheated on, the betrayal of trust; and also it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he is doing, he has to lie about his behaviors, and he has to feel the guilt that inevitably accompanies cheating.

Even if he or she doesn't seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn't mean the end of the relationship every time.

You've been in a relationship and you've been cheated on, and you've gotten back together or you've never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?

Saving relationships where there has been cheating going on, especially if cheating has happened more than once, well, it is not easy. But if you can rebuild your trust in the other person, then you can stay together, and make a happy relationship.

Why did the person cheat on you? It is very important to think about this, because this may indicate whether you will be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. How were things in your relationship, where they not too good, or was it just convenient or one of those things that "just happened"? You will need to have calm conversations about these reasons.

If boredom and opportunity came together and the person just decided to cheat, then you have some problems. They cannot give you any better reason than that, you may want to consider that what they did was unforgiveable. It is not an easy choice.

If your relationship was in a difficult state, the other person may have thought it was going to end anyway. If they felt undervalued, or ignored, this could have lead to them cheating. I am not saying they were right - there is no excuse. But thinking about these problems and understanding them may help you to be able to work on the issues together.

Relationships and cheating are strange in a way, some couples are able to move on and get over the destruction of trust involved in an affair. More often though, the person cheated on cannot get over it. If there is no trust and there is a definite fear that the person will cheat again, - this is a soul-destroying thing to do.

Being constantly suspicious will make you so unhappy, and will make the other person feel under the microscope all the time. You have to decide that you are going to trust the other person and make yourself do that, even though is a difficult thing to do especially in the relationships and cheating situation. If you are concerned that your partner is cheating maybe not for the first time, then you need to do something about it to put your own mind at rest.

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Learn How to Catch a Cheater On The Internet

By Sabrina Summerfrield

Internet is as good a resource and it also can do the most devastating things to you. They make life of cheaters easy and fun. In fact some spouses end up cheating due to Internet addition. Internet is certainly a cause of concern for people in relationships. You may be wondering what are the signs of a cheating spouse on the Internet.

A lot of the Internet depends on what you actually consider cheating. If your spouse spends a lot of time looking at porn and going into chat rooms, you may be okay with that. You just need to be careful because this can often turn into an obsession. If they start liking porn more than sex with you, you're going to start to feel neglected. At the same time, chat rooms can often lead into a lot more and you can end up being on the outside.

If your spouse is cheating on you on the Internet, you should be able to find clues about this. If they're starting to get obsessed about constantly checking the Internet or finding time when you aren't around to get online, you should start to think something is funny. Maybe your spouse is beginning to password-protect their accounts or will suddenly close all of the windows they are in when you come around.

There are certain things you can do and you should be attentive at all times. You could put on a special software on your computer to know what websites have bee visited, what was done and when it was done. You can even monitor their emails. So its easy to catch them if they are cheating on you. The best thing is they will not have a clue about it.

Yet, you have to be careful with things like this. It's a serious invasion on your partner's privacy and if you don't find anything, you are going to feel horrible about snooping. If they ever find out you were monitoring them, they're going to be pretty angry as well.

Besides using software you can visit the favorite's folder on your spouse computer to see which sites they frequently visit. If a few happen to be a dating or community chat site then you should see about joining under an alias or false profile and interacting with your spouse. The types of responses you will receive should determine whether they are cheating on you or not. It is important that you find proof and not just circumstantial evidence before you make an accusation. There is nothing worse then being wrong about such a serious subject.

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Emotional Infidelity - How To Detect It, What To Do Next

By Elizabeth Fitz

Emotional infidelity is often the first step to a partner cheating. Some people consider it cheating in it's own right - it has been used in divorce proceedings in the US. A relationship is more than just physical fidelity. It is about the bond two people have, that they forge together over time.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

When your partner or spouse begins to form those very same bonds with another person, then it is emotional infidelity. As your partner forms the bonds, they withdraw from their relationship with you.

Whereas before, you were your significant other's best friend, you knew their secrets, their little quirks - now you feel like you are just an acquaintance in your relationship. This cold-shoulder treatment is horrible, very hard to deal with, and hard to watch happening. You often feel like it is you who is doing something wrong, that you are the one with the problem.

At the same time, emotional infidelity involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about emotional infidelity is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

If you do suspect emotional infidelity, you need to keep some things in mind. Many people have close friends, best buddies if they are a man, and girlfriends if they are a woman. Some people have friends of the opposite sex, and they may confide in them frequently.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others. When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem on it's own, but it can be one of the early signs of a relationship really turning sour. Emotional infidelity frequently does lead to physical infidelity. If you recognise emotional infidelity then you may be able to nip it in the bud at this early stage - it is always easier, the earlier you catch it.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distant or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

Catch emotional infidelity as soon as possible in order to fix the relationship. It can be difficult to do, but if your suspicions are aroused and you suspect emotional infidelity then get some help and advice on how to fix your relationship as soon as you can.

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Find Out More About How To Keep Your Girlfriend Happy

By Trevor Johnson

The role of man as the wooer is universal. Even among the animals, it is mostly the males who do the chasing. Among humans though, the costs incurred from the start of the courtship until the end of the relationship is something that keeps guys from getting it on with the apple of their eyes. Guys have the common belief that to capture and keep their ladylove's heart, they must be armed with the most expensive treasures the world can offer. All you guys really should do is simply to uncover the little secret on how to keep your girlfriend happy.

Most guys are full of thoughts on impressing their girlfriends and sweeping them off their feet. In their thoughts, these can only be done with enough money. Expensive gifts, elegant dinners and grand dates seem to be the answer. This is, however, only according to a guy's point of view.

Women might have to depend greatly on men ages ago. In those times, men have greater capacity to provide for the family's basic needs since the competition then were more physical compared to the intellectual world we are living in now.

This trend does not apply in this modern world anymore. Women now have capacity to fend and provide for themselves in terms of the basic and even luxurious needs. Thus, the importance of men in their lives has gone down slightly lower compared to that in the past generations.

Most, if not all, women are sentimental and sensitive. They are greatly appreciate of things done by their partners, no matter how little the costs involved are. For them, it is the thoughts that count more along with the effort to please them. Although the costs may make them get a good feel of their value in cash basis, it is not everything for women. They have a greater preference on things that are done from the heart.

For men, this might seem more tasking considering all the effort that has to be taken in order to put out something special. However, they just need to keep in mind that for women, it is usually the seemingly little but actually thoughtful acts that matter.

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New Dating Sites Giving Free Trials

By Robert Gather

Dating sites have little appeal to guys and gals who are in college or high school. The younger crowd has enormous networks of friends and social activities and have no need for a dating service.

There are tens of thousands of lonely, beautiful, professional women and men who are online literally, because their hectic lives, daily jobs and career choices doesn't put them in a position to meet someone of the opposite sex for possible dating. With online dating sites one has the advantage of connecting with a mass of men and women online and the tremendous leverage of writing to them that you get nowhere else.

The workplace chains men and women down. Dating clients or co-workers are a definite taboo. Time restraints because of professional enrichment opportunities change the game. If they do go out often they intimidate others and find it hard to connect. Often they cannot put their pictures up for fear of being recognized professionally.

The reason to use online dating sites is many fold. Best thing is that you can do it from home at any convenient time. Comparative information is available so you can compare profiles for compatibility in order that you don't waste your time in nonsense encounters. Because of the greatquantity of men and women in these online dating services you multiply your chances of meeting someone you'd like. Writing a good fun profile can put you in contact with quality people rather quickly.

One of the best unbiased rating agencies is Consumer Reports. The companies they recommend come from consumer surveys and they insure that their reports cannot be manipulated. They recommend Match.com, eHarmony and Yahoo Personals as being among the best online dating services.

When you are looking for the basics, Match.com and Yahoo Personals deliver. You'll find Yahoo Personals and eHamony give compatibility tests that get information from you about your likes and dislikes which is helpful when you match yourself up against others. First thing you want to do is set up a throw away email site in gMail or Hotmail for communications. You don't want to give out your private email until you get to know someone.

eHarmony has more women then men. My guess is that most guys don't have the patience to fill out the long "personality test." Eharmony also allows you to post multiple pictures of yourself, post action shots as well as pictures of yourself relaxed.

If you are looking for a online dating site where you can put up and view others extended profiles, Match.com delivers. Long copy sells better than short copy in the online world so you need to make your profile stand out. Use long copy.

Yahoo Personals allows you to post multiple photos and chat and has good advice on how to get the hottest photo of yourself and post those photos. You also get timely dating and relationship advice and tips you may find helpful.

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Tips On Saving Your Marriage

By Sabrina Summerfield

Marriage has its ups and downs but most problems can usually be solved. However, there are times when a marriage in such crisis it seems like there is no way out except divorce. Do not jump ship and just give up when that happens. If you love your spouse then you need to work at it and work hard. There are a few things, though you should remember not to do when saving your marriage.

It can be devastating to your faith in all things to find yourself in a marriage that seems to be headed for divorce. You loved this person at one time and if you look deep inside yourself, you will find you still do. Take hold of the bumpy ride ahead and let your spouse know that you do still love him or her and you want to do whatever it takes to save your marriage.

You need to find out if you have grown apart and if so, why? Are you going in different directions? Is it too much to spend a little time with each other sharing what that one likes to do? Remember you fell in love with this person because of who he or she is so you can find your way back to that.

It is important to have not only family nights but date nights with your spouse. If the children are still young, hire a babysitter. Spending one on one time with your spouse helps let them know that you care and want to be with them. Go down memory lane and remember the nights you spent together when you were dating. That is still the same person under all the drama of the issues you are now having.

Do not cross the line of infidelity. Trust and faith are what keep a marriage together and an affair can tear it apart quicker than anything. The attention you are thinking of giving the guy or gal at the office? Direct it to the person who deserves it, your spouse. If you treat your partner like he or she is a love interest you want to keep happy then you will have just that, a happy spouse.

Whatever the reason for the troubles in your marriage, they won't be fixed overnight just as they didn't come along overnight. Knowing that you love your spouse and that you want to work on saving your marriage is the key and the first step to succeeding. Join together in the fight and you can make that happily ever after a reality.

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Free Marriage Counseling Is Available

By Sabrina Summerfield

Marriage counseling can quickly become an expensive proposition. And when one member of a marriage is seriously considering ending the union, it can be difficult for them to envisage spending $100 or more an hour on something they believe they want out of. That's one side of the coin. The other side is the couple that desperately wants help solving problems that they can't deal with, but can't afford the high cost of therapy. This article is a look at where one might be able to obtain free marriage counseling.

The primary source of free marriage counseling is churches. If the couple was married in a religious service, the best place to start looking for free marriage counseling is by contacting the church in which they were married. Most of these services are delivered on a pay what you can basis. Here are some of the largest groups:

For Roman Catholics, obtaining marriage counseling is as easy as contacting your local Catholic Family Service. You can contact them through your local parish office or you can phone them directly. This organization has hundreds of offices and thousands of well trained counselors across the continent. If your Catholic marriage needs help, don't wait.

Jewish Family Services are organized on an ad hoc basis, according to the size and needs of the local Jewish community. Services offered vary widely from one Jewish Family Service to the next. One of the few commonalities, fortunately, is marriage counseling. In North America you can easily contact the Jewish Family Service through your local synagogue or you can for online and enter "Jewish Family Services of (your city here)" and chances are excellent that the website for your local Jewish Family Services organization will pop up.

ICNA stands for Islamic Circle of North America. Counseling is delivered to married couples within the context of the expectations of the Faith. Marriage counseling is delivered by the ICNA through Muslim Family Services. MSF is a division of Islamic Circle of North America Relief USA.

Essentially any religious group recognized as such by the Internal Revenue Service offers pay what you can marriage counseling.

For non-religious couples, governments also have a vested interest in stable families, or at least a vested interest in avoiding unstable families. However, social services varying wildly by jurisdiction. Obtaining free marriage counseling may be as close as the phone. Call your local department of family or social services and ask what help they might have for you. And good luck.

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Is There Any Way To Save My Marriage?

By Sarah Lindahl

Marriage is the the natural consequence of love. Celebrating with friends and family, we profess vows of faithfulness in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. On that day, fulfilling those vows seems easy. Nothing will prevent us from fulfilling them. Come what may, we will make it through 'til death do us part'. But then the realities of married life take shape, and it is not what you envisioned. You could be asking yourself 'is there a way to save my marriage'?

A marriage can be saved, even completely transformed from a sad, or even depressing, situation to a life long love affair with your spouse. Even in the most difficult situations, such as adultery, marriages can be saved. Trust in hope, and know that you are not alone. Saving your marriage requires that you clearly understand what you should and should not do in the reconciliation process. Your desire to change your marriage for the better led you to this article in the first place.

Your marriage is in one of the six stages of the relationship life cycle:

1. Romance and infatuation

2. After the honeymoon

3. Staking your territories

4. Evaluation

5. Reconnection

6. Commitment

You are likely in stage 4 right now, and wanting to get to stage 5. But you may be also be wondering why you married your spouse in the first place. Perhaps marriage would be better with a different spouse. It is a difficult time realizing the dream, your vision of marriage, is not what you now have. The romance and infatuation stage is long gone and so are the blissful feelings of the honeymoon stage. While this is emotionally very hard, it is also perfectly normal. Closeness and intimacy, and sexual relations, change for the worse and this is the point where one of you may consider an affair. Avoid this no matter how difficult it seems at the moment. Remember you took vows, and now you must develop the skills to reconnect with your partner and change your marriage. Working through this will be painful and difficult, but keep the goal in mind. Make sure you equip yourself with the right tools to make the process more effective. By doing this you can get the result you want and avoid becoming a marriage statistic.

Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering 'is there any way to save my marriage'.

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Get That Loving Feeling Long Distance

By Astrid Engels

For most of us a close loving relationships with someone is essential. It's one of those intangible assets that no one can really put a price tag on. It's no wonder that internet dating has grown the way it has over the past two decades! Internet dating has expanded the dating pool by leaps and bounds; you can meet someone from your own city, your own state or venture farther afield and search the world.

For a lot of us, involvement in a relationship means that we see our partner every day. We enjoy spending time together and love the spontaneity of having our loved one close by. Other couples, and I know some like this, see each other only occasionally. They live independent lives due to busy work and family schedules or simply because they don't live in the same city.

Most of us don't even think about long distance relationships when we're on the lookout for love. But it's important to keep an open mind when dating. Who knows, something new and different, like long distance dating, could very well lead you to what you have been looking for. While long distance dating can be fun, it also has its challenges.

One of the definite down sides of long distance dating is that you partner will not be able to attend all of the events with you that you'd like; not will you be able to attend events him that are important to your partner. Spur of the moment dates probably won't happen either. However, there are definitely some pros to long distance dating;

1. There is much less emphasis on the physical aspect of the relationship and more on really getting to know the other person. If long term is what you're after, you might not be doing yourself any favors by sleeping together too soon.

2. Your friendships won't suffer. Usually when you're in a new relationship you spend all your time with your new sweetie. When they're not around each and every day you can keep the balance in your life.

3. You have the opportunity to get away from the norm every now and then. If they live in a place you have always wanted to visit, you get to experience something new.

4. You know that list of options you have tucked away in the event you want to move? Now you have a new option to consider.

5. Okay, I have two words for you; Phone Sex. If you've already tried this then you know it's an exciting way to keep a relationship sparking.

6. Your partnership stays newer longer. You have less time together so you tend to make the most of it. You can put the trivialities aside and concentrate on the important stuff.

Though it's probably not your preference, having a long distance love connection can be a wonderful experience; it's completely up to the two people involved. Take a chance; you never know if this trip into the unknown will turn into something wonderful that will last a lifetime.

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